No-one spends a meeting looking everyone else in the face all the time, and being looked at too.
Anyway, if your work's remote access isn't set up with split-tunnelling then there's a good chance the Internet pipe to it won't be able to support everyone using video calls, even if you're using public web services.
For family and friends calls, relieve the stress by having a few drinks then your focus will drift just like it does when meeting in person.
While you may be tempted to do video calls with older relatives I would caution against this (only my experience):
if it's hard enough to get the relative to following directions to plug in a HMDI cable to a TV (or as 'we' call it HDM1 .... argh!).
if they'd rather talk over you and ignore any technical help: remember a question isn't an invitation for you to provide an answer, it's a vehicle to open a monologue moan.
they'll see when you put it on speaker and go off to do something else
they'll see you nutting the wall 20 mins into an 'anecdote' about their friend's grandson's friend's auntie's toothache ... justified the retelling using criteria:
it's their friend (who you've not met)
someone in the line lives close to you (i.e. within 150 miles)
you got as far as saying "my toot..."
your house won't have been cleaned to their exacting standards.
I feel for you. The fact that you took the time to have this in a bullets and sub bullets list says a lot about how deep it hurts
If you can’t beat them join them. That’s what I do when they start drifting, I drift too. We end up with a very interesting, albeit mind boggling conversation that goes on and on with an outcome that’s “as useful as a barber shop on the steps of the guillotine”.